VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
