Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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