at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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