Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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