i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
