yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
