Do you still have your period?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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