WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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