I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
