Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
