I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
