do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
