I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
