and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
