3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
