im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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