it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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