Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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