My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
