My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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