how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
