thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
