That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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