Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
