I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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