i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
