i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
