just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
