on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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