Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
