Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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