You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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