Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
