So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Barsexuality is the new black.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
