ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
