If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
