i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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