My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
