your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
