Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
