oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
