there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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