the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
