Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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