I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
