this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
