using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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