i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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