If that was your dad, he is hot
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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