i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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