So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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