Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The beer is more important than you right now.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
